Sometimes we each just need breathing space. A moment of calm where a weight is lifted and we are able to breathe, release our shoulders from our ears, and be. We’ve all experienced that weight – whether a to-do list that seems all but do-able, multiple family and/or work demands, striving for good grades, financial strain, health concerns, or any other named or unnamed stressor.

A group of individuals decided that one way to create that space is by helping out unexpectedly with rent. And the Rent is Sent initiative was born. Their motto is Lightening the load and lifting UP future leaders, one surprise rent payment at a time.

Thank you for heeding the call, creating needed breathing space, and growing love!

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” -Isaiah 30.21

During a recent visit with my son at his new apartment in Northern Virginia, we went out for a late breakfast to celebrate our against-all-odds assembly of complicated patio chairs that came without written instructions. At the Gainesville Diner, we were greeted with smiles and staff wearing “we count the memories not the calories” t-shirts. 

While we were enjoying brunch, an employee stopped at the booth next to ours to say hello to a customer who was seated alone. We overheard bits of the conversation as the customer shared that she wasn’t sure when she’ll be back because she was about to start chemotherapy treatment and didn't have rides lined up yet. That employee could have nodded empathetically, wished her well, and continued on her way out. Instead, she leaned in - to the woman in the booth and to her situation, ultimately sliding in next to her to continue the conversation. During their time together, it appeared that they exchanged numbers and discussed schedules and needs, including rides and meals.

What a perfect witness of love. That’s one more memory to count.

Thank you, Gainesville Diner, for Growing Love without instructions.

Then again, maybe you did have some...
If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it. (John 13:17) 
(Jesus to his disciples while washing their feet)

Like other beachcombers walking along the water’s edge, I was in search of the “perfect one.” I’d pick up a shell only to drop it back onto the sand a moment later. None of them seemed right; they didn’t align with my heartache.

And yet, something sparkled at me from the surf. I picked up the long, slim conch shell and saw that its outer protective layer was gone, revealing a beautiful pearl-like interior. It brought comfort at the touch, its length extending up my wrist. I wrapped my hand around it and continued my trek. I began to feel calmer than I had in a while.

Another glint in the water revealed a shell remnant, this one dark and flat with an opalescent sheen. It nestled perfectly in the openness of the one I carried with me. As I went along the beach, an eclectic array of shells seemed to beckon to be picked up and join the group secure in the slender shell’s well. I marveled at its capacity to carry so much – far more than I could have accommodated with my bare hand.

Then, up ahead, buried in the sand, was the Great One so many of us had been seeking. As I lifted it up, I was struck by its immensity and moved by its brokenness. The giant conch shell was battered. The divots throughout its body and the gaping hole in its regal crown told of its tremendous journey to reach me.

As if made to fit, the lovely thin shell I’d been carrying rested perfectly inside the Great One, along with all that she carried.
I was now ready to go back. Looking down at the collection in my hand, I realized that the giant conch appeared whole. The beautiful slim shell had filled the gaps.

A woman nearby called out, “You sure got lucky!”
I couldn’t have agreed more.

Drew Elizabeth Roadarmel demonstrated to us all how to grow love.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps 34:16

The well-dressed man stood outside the driver’s side of the limousine, waiting. He had just transported his passengers from the church to the cemetery in what I hoped had been a momentary respite from the intensity of receiving so many fellow mourners. I was compelled to thank him for his care of them and he responded by sharing a poem he had just written, in his deep calming voice:

In a place called peace, I had peace in this place.

I’d been placed in a peace I had never been placed before.

So please, continue to place me with peace,

For peace is now my favorite place.

I hugged the kind man, whom I now know as Darren, for he reminded me that peace is real, attainable and good.

-Thank you, Darren, for growing love.

It is difficult to adapt to a life without a loved one who helped us define was living is. This is especially true at Christmas, with its abundance of traditions and memories. We trumpet the arrival of the Prince of Peace, yet may struggle to fully accept the gift of peace that is offered to us.

On a recent Sunday, our pastor reminded us that the Messiah was given the name Emmanuel, which means God is with us, always. He is concerned about us at all times. He is not only in our midst, but also within each of us. Acts of love bring us a sense of peace because we fulfill what is asked of us by God – to love thy neighbor.

If we have confidence our loved ones who passed are in a place of peace, as Darren reminds us, then all the more reason to be actively part of peace on earth.

“Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”- Phil 4, 7.

One Monday morning at work, Neil, a young professional, shared with me that his brother was in critical condition after an accident that weekend. We talked a while. I listened, empathized, and before turning to head back to my office, I told him I would keep his brother in my prayers. He thanked me and said, “Now, please.” He looked at me intently and said, “Please, go to your office and pray, now for my brother.” I told him I would, and I did. Thankfully, his brother had a full recovery.

The exchange impressed upon me the need to “pray, now” – to take immediate action.

Recently, Jared, a young man in our community, sustained severe injuries after being hit by a car only days after returning to his college campus to start his sophomore year. His mother, Cathy, and her family have kept the growing community of concerned supporters up to date on his health, sharing their praises- thanking God for specific improvements, as well as specific prayer requests based on what is happening with him at the moment.

Reading her updates, one is immediately struck by her family’s strong faith in God and anticipation of healing for her son. Despite her family’s excruciating situation, they grow love by inviting others to share in their hope and faith for a full recovery for Jared, and to cherish the moments we have with loved ones. They grow love as they amplify their prayer.

Grief is a natural reaction when we think about situations like Jared’s accident and the struggle he and his family continue to endure. However, let’s make sure we parlay that concern into becoming part of the solution. Let’s act. When we read an update, let’s stop, take a deep breath, and pray to God to answer those specific needs.

Let’s be sure to recognize the other part of the request, now please.

“Cor ad cor loquitor”– “Heart speaks to heart”– motto of Blessed John Henry Newman

I was doing some channel surfing and got hooked re-watching The Help. It’s impossible to turn away from such a compelling story of love, inner strength and courage. The turning point of the movie is the moment in church when Aibileen Clark realizes that she must agree to share her story- the life of being a maid to a white family in Jackson, Mississippi. She’d later succinctly explain that the reason why she chose to come forward was “God.”

In the movie, the preacher reads from Exodus Chapter 4, verse 1, saying, “God having asked Moses to free the Israelites, Moses answered, ‘Oh my Lord, I am not eloquent, I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.’” Then the preacher explains:

“See, courage isn’t just about being brave.

Courage is daring to do what is right in spite of the weakness of our flesh.

And God tells us, commands us, compels us, to love, Amen?”

“To love, as exemplified by our Lord Jesus Christ…

To be prepared to put yourself in harms way for your fellow man.

And by your fellow man, I mean your brother, your sister, your neighbors, your friends, AND the enemy.

Because, if you can love your enemy, you already have the victory.”

So, thank you, author Kathryn Stockett, for growing and showing love with your book, The Help. Thank you to the actresses- Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sissy Spacek, Jessica Chastain, Allison Janney, and others, for making this story, and its message of having the courage to love, come to life on the big screen in a timeless manner. We’ll keep a Grow Love t-shirt ready for each of you!